In this episode, Zack and Josie sit down with Roger and Jessica, a lifestyle couple whose journey has taken an unexpected turn — into an exclusive, emotionally connected relationship with another couple. After two years in the lifestyle, what began as group dates evolved into alternating date nights, overnight visits, out-of-state trips, and eventually a shared commitment they now describe as having a “boyfriend” and “girlfriend.”
Roger and Jessica share how they’ve navigated parenting schedules, deepening emotional bonds, New Relationship Energy, and the intentional work they’ve done in counseling to build the tools needed for success. Even as their connection with their partner couple grows, they remain grounded in their marriage as their primary commitment — while also acknowledging that they genuinely love their boyfriend and girlfriend.
We also explore how they define this relationship: Is it poly? Is it still “just” the lifestyle? Or is it something in-between? Roger and Jessica talk openly about the labels that fit — and the ones that don’t — as they shape a relationship model that feels authentic to them.
With their own history of a four-way relationship that ended in divorce, Zack and Josie ask the tough questions: Is this beautiful connection also dangerous territory? What boundaries, agreements, and self-awareness does it take to make a relationship like this work? Join us as we unpack the practical, emotional, and relational realities of choosing exclusivity inside the lifestyle.
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(00:00:00) It all started with a sexy dream
(00:02:27) Lifestyle adjacent
(00:03:15) Conversation and open communication
(00:03:41) We had no idea what we were doing
(00:05:42) We had a few FWB’s for about a year
(00:07:44) We got into an exclusive relationship
(00:10:19) Isn’t being exclusive dangerous territory?
(00:14:20) Our deliberate approach
(00:15:19) The love we feel for different people is different than the love we feel for each other
(00:18:39) Communication, connection and boundaries
(00:20:18) Play parameters
(00:22:52) We are able to disconnect from daily life with our play partners
(00:25:33) An open marriage…not poly
(00:27:59) It isn’t always easy
(00:29:25) We share the big things with each other, but not every detail
(00:31:27) Insecurities and compersion
(00:33:50) We experience things differently because it’s a different dynamic
(00:34:35) Loving vs being in love
(00:37:05) Staying focused on our mutual goals
(00:39:13) Vulnerability creates closeness and excitement
(00:40:52) An exclusive relationship solves some of the challenges of the lifestyle
(00:42:47) Navigating lifestyle events in an exclusive relationship
(00:44:58) One-on-one dates
(00:45:36) Protecting our couple time and our family time
(00:47:17) One-on-one overnights and travel with play partners
(00:48:39) The more we do it the more comfortable it becomes
(00:50:36) Overnights were initially terrifying
(00:52:47) The kids are young and are unaware
(00:58:35) Boyfriend / girlfriend titles
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